Every day, every moment, every second, every millisecond our conscious and subconscious are taking in information.
This information is processed through the lens of our experiences.
Sometimes that lens is a little clouded with pain, or a little foggy with all of the chemicals the brain is releasing.
Overall, we tend to go through these moments of fog or distortion with some discomfort, but we make it out with a new experience.
Maybe we got out of that fog with a distraction. Maybe with some therapy Some coaching, some time… There are lots of different ways in cleansing the lens of our pain.
BUT…. sometimes it’s really really… freakin hard.
Sometimes we feel things at such an intense level that;
We ruminate on them We attach them to our sense of self We feel not that we are looking at life through a foggy lens, but rather we are in the tumultuous storm of life, and we are caught in the middle if it….and it’s our fault.
When people say;
“Have you tried being happy” “Try smiling” “Go out and do something” “Stop thinking about it” “You’re always down it’s not fun to be around” “You’re still thinking about that”
When people say these things it normally adds to the storm. We can feel guilty, ashamed, embarrassed, hopeless you name it…
PSA (If you are someone who says these things, be mindful of the impact your words can have on someone in a storm. Know that when we are in a storm our brain is going to respond differently then if we were in a place where we felt safe. If you want to offer support, ask them what they need and be mindful please be mindful of any language that brings in judgement. Remember there is no judgement in healing)
The truth is it’s hard sometimes, sometimes it’s really really hard, and it can feel like we don’t have a choice in it.
That no matter what we do, this is going to be our life forever.
I’m sure there were probably moments in your teenage years where you were caught in something emotional and thought… “This is it, forever. I will always be trapped at my parents house”, or, “My heart is broken I will never love again.”
Our brain likes evidence and it likes to know the future.
So if something hard is happening it wants to know why…. Often times depending on our experiences…. the brain wants to know why and it wants to have control in it not happening again. So that makes YOU the perfect answer as to why it happened.
“It happened because of me, I am responsible”
This can bring in guilt, shame, etc. but it also gives the brain the belief that since it was me I can control it from happening again.
It’s ok to take accountability in your life but it is important to not put blame. Blame brings in judgement and remember,
“There is no judgment in healing.”
When you find yourself in a storm and it feels like it’s never going to pass and you don’t have a choice in it….
When you feel like every day is just going to be the same and you begin to loose hope…
Remember that emotions are like the weather. You might get some crazy storms and they might last longer than others, but the weather is always changing.
In your storm remember that.
Remember that this storm is just here, it’s not anyone’s fault.
Sometimes storms have to happen, they offer rain and disruption.
They bring things inward in the chaos They break up bacteria (they break up and bring to our awareness that which isn’t serving us ) They offer the life force of water to seeds waiting to blossom
You are so powerful. Your storm can be pretty powerful too…. But so can all of your other emotions… weathers…
If you’re in a storm and need to talk, don’t hesitate to reach out. No one should feel alone in a storm. I’m here and I am sending you lots of love and an imaginary rain jacket. Sending love and light, always Des https://www.theinterconnectedself.com
Everything in this post and all posts on this site are part of the intellectual property of Des Caminos. These are messages from my heart to yours.