Good job. Congratulations. Good for you. Well done…. Classic statements that we hear normally once we’ve completed some task… but do they carry weight anymore?
Have these words of validation/acknowledgement lost some of its pizzaz? It seems that we’ve moved these words into the zone of expectations. We expect to be acknowledged/ validated when we do something and when our expectation isn’t met, a myriad of things can happen. We can feel resentment, a lack of appreciation, loss of interest in tasks, lack of motivation, self doubt.. and on the other end what happens when we do get our expected outcome? Do we savor the energy of each word? Do we allow ourselves to really feel our accomplishments? Can we really receive the praise? When we get to “good job” can we sit in that container of being acknowledged, seen and celebrated or are we quick to look for the next “good job”?
It seems in a way that we’ve moved towards a society of collecting as many “good jobs” as possible. Jumping from task to task and creating pressure on ourselves to produce, complete, execute, achieve, but without basking in the completion once it’s done. We run across the tape, look for the roaring audience then run to the next race. This is draining and most importantly unsustainable both to the physical body and to the mental spirit.
I know our society connects worth to the amount that we produce in the world. Kids start this early indoctrination process with grades, the more assessments you do, the more A’s you get the more your worth goes up as a student…. but I’m here to challenge this template.
What if instead of making it about production quantity we focused on quality. Quality of the whole process? A goal is set or a task is given, what if instead of rushing to showcase our speed and efficiency through the societal lens of outcome production, you took a breath and looked at your goal through your unique lens?
You looked at the task with a childlike sense of challenge, wonder and exploration. You ask yourself:
Why is this my challenge/task?
Why am I called to do this?
How do I feel about this task and why?
What do I need to help achieve this task?
How do I want to feel when im doing it?
How do I want to feel when it’s completed?
What do I desire from this process?
Using each task to better connect to yourself, your growth, your desires and intentions? Moving through the task with choice and intention as opposed to pressure and force.
At the end of it, how will you celebrate yourself for completing the task? What does that look and feel like in your body? Being able to connect to your own internal celebration. The authentic acknowledgement that you did it.
Receiving compliments or affirmations can also be a little (to say the least) uncomfortable, but our spirit’s are meant to receive it and we are hungry for it. Being connected throughout the whole process to yourself will give you more internal validation, support, trust, belief, worth and confidence. From this place, your reception of “good job” will be fully received. You know you did a “good job”.
When you complete the task ask yourself:
How do I feel and why?
Where is this feeling in your body?
What new thoughts/perspectives have come with this process of starting and seeing this task though to the end?
What new things did I learn about myself?
What challenges came up and how will I handle them next time?
Sit back and bask in the joy and high frequency energy that is your achievement.
When someone congratulates you:
Accept it. Take a breath and receive it fully.
Try not to dismiss it internally or say “No it was easy”, “It’s ok”, “Thanks but it’s my job” etc. ***You did it, you deserve the acknowledgment no matter how “easy” it felt.
How does being validated/recognized feel?
Where is it in your body?
We all deserve to be acknowledged, validated and or witnessed in our accomplishments (doesn’t mean of course we have to. We can choose to keep some of our accomplishments to ourselves and let them be our personal secret of growth and achievement), but we deserve not just the words, “good job” but the energy of it.
Words are just shells, empty containers for something so big. Words are the physical manifestations of the energy they carry. A word is just a sound, ink on a paper, until it’s infused with the energy of it’s holder.
Take in the energy for it gives you more than the container of it’s physical manifestation.
You deserve it.